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Defusing Tactic # 22: The WHEN Question |
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Written by Robert Bacal
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Monday, 01 March 2004 |
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Learn how to apply The WHEN question in order to gain and maintain control over hostile interactions.
Let's say a person is very upset and says something like: "you don't give a damn about me. You work for government..what a soft life, and you have some nerve telling me I can't" (whatever the person wants to do). The customer is throwing bait at you. He accuses you of not caring, and being lazy. If you respond directly to these attacks, you are being controlled by the other person, and playing the game by his rules. You can respond indirectly, so the person knows you have heard, while sending the message that you aren't going to play this particular attack game. In this case you can use the WHEN question. It goes like this: "when did you start thinking that we aren't concerned with your situation?" The attacking person doesn't expect this..you are confusing the attacker by not playing by the rules. If the attacking person responds to your question, you have now gained control of the interaction, since the person is now reacting to you rather than vice versa.
This is an excerpt from the Defusing Hostile Customers Workbook. For more detailed help on defusing customer hostility, click here. |
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